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Henry Masterman Mist Diaries and Prisoners Pie Magazine

Diaries of Heny Masterman Mist and a copy of Prisoners’ Pie, the Ruhleben Camp magazine. Learn more.

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BC Archives MS-2570

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His sentence is drowned in a chorus of howls a [illegible] he turns to see whence they came, he beholds a crowd of young [illegible], in a neighbouring field, belabouring one another as he thought, with sticks; for the girls of the Uptown Seminary are playing the return hockey match with the maidens of the Dultown Girls' High School. "What are they thinking about" - and before anyone can hinder him, Mr. Pickwick runs right into the midst of the game, receiving not a few hard but accidental blows. "My dear young ladies," he implores, with hands uplifted, "what does this mean? Stop fighting at once, I beseech you." The girls are amazed for an instant, until one saucy little maiden laughs out, "Let's kiss the dear old man!" "Yes, let's!" they all scream in merry chorus. Whereupon the girls beset him like a swarm of bees, every one of them bestowing as many kisses as possible upon his venerable bald head. Mr. Pickwick's friends, however, intervene and carry him back to the car, whilst the young ladies throw kisses and wave handkerchiefs and sticks in high glee.

Again the car is sweeping along; and when nearing home Mr. Pickwick turns to Sam and enquires how Mr. Tony Weller is getting on. "Not wery vell, Sir" Sammy answers with a sigh. "I'm grieved to say he's married agin, Sir, to a widder of the Mormon persvasion. She's the very plague of his life; but he would do it against my adwice. It's 'ooman nature, Sammy,' he says to me, "'ooman nature.'" "Does he still drive the old coach?" asks Mr. Pickwick. "No, Sir," Sam replies, "he svore never to drive agin, after he took the Prime Minister down to Eatonsvill and the ladies smashed in the vinders with hatchets." "Ladies!?" cries Mr. Pickwick in great surprise; 'why even gentlemen would not do such a thing." "That's just it, Sir," Weller agrees, "leastways me father alvays is a-sayin' so. 'Somehow, Sammy,' he says to me, 'somehow ladies never can be gen'l'men, Sammy, never,' he says." Mr. Pickwick sits back in dream reflection for a while and then turns to Mr. Tupman. "You remember Mr. Wardle, Tupman?" he asks. "And Miss Wardle, Tupman?" cried Mr. Winkle. "And Mr. Wardle's mother - dear old Mrs. Wardle," adds Mr. Winkle. "Dear old Mrs. Wardle!" they exclaim in chorus. "Sammy" says Mr. Pickwick, "I'm thinking we might drive down to Manor Farm and see Mr. Wardle." "Yes, Sir" replies Sam, "in the car, Sir?" "Well - er, no," says Mr. Pickwick. "Nerves a bit shook, Sir, eh?" enquires Sam. "Yes, Sammy," Mr. Pickwick admits, "to be honest, they are. Ah! dear, dear me! New Poetry! - New Art! - New Women! No, Sammy, seeing that it's Christmas time, I think we will travel to Mr. Wardle's in your father's coach. What do you think about it Sammy?" "Vell, Sir," replies Sam, "father is alvays a-sayin" - 'Sammy I'll never drive the ole coach any more, Sammy, never!' But he'd do it for you Sir - do anythin' for you - and so would we all, Sir. Wery vell, the old coach it is, Sir, and Christmas at Dingly Dell." C.

BC Archives, MS-2570 Box 1 File 6 / MIST, Henry Masterman / Ruhleben magazine, Prisoners’ Pie, 1916.

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