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Henry Masterman Mist Diaries and Prisoners Pie Magazine

Diaries of Heny Masterman Mist and a copy of Prisoners’ Pie, the Ruhleben Camp magazine. Learn more.

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BC Archives MS-2570

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an' behold! big Enery came 'oppin' down with a hegg m__'is after 'and, no ! foot, blowed hif I knows wot to call it. Course, in the hexcitement hi drops my pans an' all the dinnre hi 'ad to cook an' legs it hafter 'im ; but damme hif I could catch 'im, dodgin an visitin' like a little 'arf-back, then 'c flies hup aloft with the hegg in is after 'and, wich woz as straight has our spanker-boom, an' then 'e sits on the Huppertops'l yard an' scoffs the bloomin' hegg, so's I could see 'im like. O'course hi gives 'im nuthin' to heat for a day or two, to cool 'im. as it woz but wot does 'Emery do, but tell the little ones to pinch somethin' for 'im, strewth ! I'm not hexaggeratin' ; an' pinch they did, goin' orf with 'arf the sponge I 'ad for the cabin bread. Ole man played 'ell an' sed 'e would dump the b - - - - things; but hi prewailed upon 'im, hi allus did. The sailors woz fair demented wiv joy, an' by way of showin' it nearly drown the pore things next mornin' washin' down ; I 'ad to plug some of 'em afore they would leave off molestin' 'em.

"It's like monkeys though, an' 'ooman natur too hi s'pose, for to show their gratitood the three of 'em the wery next day did the dirty on me proper, - a mean hadwantage I calls it, smart though, I must hadmit.

"I was fool enough to put 'arf keg uv molasses on the shelf hunder the skylight, -course, hout uv the way, hi thought. Well, the three see it soon enough, hi can insure you. So, I s'pose they sets their brains to work ter get the molasses hout; mind you, it woz too 'eavy for 'em to life hout. Any'ow I catched 'em once or twice, dippin' their 'ands into it through the skylight, an' silly-like, used to chase the blighters hinstead of removin' the molasses.

"'Owsomeever, one day there woz a 'orrible row on top, an' wot d'ye think the brutes 'ad done? Got sick, hi s'pose o' just dippin their 'ands an' feet in, an' suckin' them, at least big 'Enery 'ad, for 'e 'ad taken little Alf an' dipped 'im into the tub an' woz lickin' 'im an' enjoyin' 'imself as hif 'e 'adn't a minute to lose, an wen I gets up 'e woz just drawin' pore little Alf's tail through 'is mouth, an' strewth! but they woz makin' a row! Hi makes a swipe at 'im wiv a broom, an' catches 'im hover the crumpet, an' lor! wasn't 'Enery hagitated!!

"S'elp me bob, I wox dam' near makin' a run for it, for hi don't 'old wiv fightin' monkeys - hit aint dignified. Hole man sed as 'ow it woz the larst stror, but hi prewailed agen, an' it wozn't long afore 'e see as I woz right too.

"Yes, " muses Doc, puffing his pipe, and fixing a glassy eye on space; "Nobody in this ship knows as 'ow hi'm a bit of a navigator, haint bin no occassion to show it 'ere yet. Yes, hi've studied the hart of navigation; I allus carries my own barometer y'know - makes one hevery v'yage. Wot? No, hi 'avent one 'ere, this ole man's that touchy if I try to hadwise 'im, - thinks 'e knows everything, o'course

BC Archives, MS-2570 Box 1 File 6 MIST, Henry Masterman Ruhleben magazine, Prisoners’ Pie, 1916

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